The 5 Stages of Archery Grief.

Rabid Hamster

Well-known member
Ironman
Last night at the club I was line captaining and watching members shoot when I realized there was a soundscape of sighs, grunts of exasperation, slight swearing and hissing (hissing?!) going on. Focusing on a couple of the more expressive members I realized there was a process going on after the shot/during the end. Once I got home, with the aid of a nice whisky I contemplated what I had witnesses and formulated the below. For your consideration I give you ... The 5 Stages of Archery Grief.

1. Denial and isolation;

Right after the shot there is disbelief at where the arrow went. This is often coupled with staring straight up or down or occationally a death glare at the offending arrow. The archer exists right now in a tiny 1 person bubble of misery. They might be on a crowded shooting line but there is not a soul near where they are. The shot simply could not have ended up in the black/white/curtain/light switch. It was a good shot. I'm a good archer. There will now be inspection of kit looking for the source of the deviation from perfection.
2. Anger;
On realizing the bow is perfectly ok and struggling to find an external source to blame ("Indoors, it’s just you and the target.” Braden Gellenthien), the archer turns on themselves often with expletives. They will by now have realized just what they did wrong (hand position, string picture, bad release, shooting throu the clicker on someone elses clicker, nocking the arrow on top of the button) and self loathing is now rampant. More demonstrative archers will now attempt self or bow harm (welsh archer Tapani Kalmaru is especially cruel to longrods).
3. Depression;
A full body sigh is now evident in the archer's stance and obviously there will will be the exhalation of misery, melancholy and woe. This sound has been standardized across the whole of World Archery and be you korean/american/brit/russian/south american (ok, not Korean unless they shoot a 8 or something mega rare like that) ... the same sound will echo across every range for instant recognition by other toxophilites. The archer now looks deep within themself to list all the things that are preventing them from giving Ellison/Kang/Schloesser/Lopez an absolute kicking and the shoulders will slump a little lower.
4. Bargaining;
As the next arrow is selected from the quiver. The archer will start a process of invoking a diety of archery to guide their next arrow into that sweet sweet gold. Apollo/Artemis/Rama/Ullr/Cupid/Ki Bo Bae are all beseeched by their humble worshipers, penitent and contrite. Many many things will be promised to these dieties at this point should they feel fit to guide the XX75/X7/ACG/X10/woodie with custom cresting and hand cut feathers into that pesky spider that lurks in the centre of every face (except field faces obviously - spiders are not keen on the damp outdoors if they have a choice). More gym time, less beer, more practice time, less gossiping/giggling and sniggering are on the table.
5. Acceptance.
As the next arrow is nocked and the pre shot cycle deep breath is taken ... the archer will come to terms that the arrow had gone. That shot can never be shot again. The score is destined for the scorebook/scoring app/scribbled on the face and can never be changed short of act of god (or judge as they are normally known on those rare occasions they deign to grant their charges a line cutter). All thoughts leave the troubled archer as their stance straightens and the shot cycle takes over. For a brief time the archer and the universe are as one. A Buddhist monk would be impressed with tranquility. A moment of Zen beauty where nothing else matters except set, draw, aim, release, recover............. and then the grief starts all over again unless you did it right when suddenly the world is a wonderful place.

Archery ... Shredding souls and sanity since 20,000BC

No archers were harmed in the writing of this post although a few did suffer anguish, depression, misery, woe and a realization they arent korean.
 


geoffretired

Supporter
Supporter
Wonderful stuff!!
Perhaps they should be grateful that the gods that help them to forget how to shoot, are the same ones that help them to forget how they shot.
 


LionOfNarnia

Supporter
Supporter
I'd like to know which whiskey inspired this masterpiece.

- Just not sure whether it should be banned or mandatory though ;)
 


Rabid Hamster

Well-known member
Ironman
Being scottish its pretty much demanded of me that I drink whisky.
well..... sort of.
I'll let you into a secret ... when a scot reaches majority, he must choose something to define his scottishness. There are quite few options available ...... rabidly following rangers or celtic, buckfast, deep fried mars bars, whisky, impenetrable accent even other scots struggle with, claiming tennants export is drinkable (this is the scottish equivelent of making people eat sheeps eyeballs), chips with every meal and finally chronic heart disease.

ps: smokey black famous grouse is quite nice for a blend and is often on special offer in morrisons. (£15 - 2 days ago)
 


Rik

Supporter
Supporter
Being scottish its pretty much demanded of me that I drink whisky.
well..... sort of.
I'll let you into a secret ... when a scot reaches majority, he must choose something to define his scottishness. There are quite few options available ...... rabidly following rangers or celtic, buckfast, deep fried mars bars, whisky, impenetrable accent even other scots struggle with, claiming tennants export is drinkable (this is the scottish equivelent of making people eat sheeps eyeballs), chips with every meal and finally chronic heart disease.

ps: smokey black famous grouse is quite nice for a blend and is often on special offer in morrisons. (£15 - 2 days ago)
What? No insisting that Irn Bru is a drink, rather than an accidental admixture of chemicals...?
 


Rabid Hamster

Well-known member
Ironman
we do not talk with non believers re the ambrosia of the gods.

suffice it to say ..... All hail BARRS IRN BRU .... Yer other national drink! Made in Scotland from girders
 


LionOfNarnia

Supporter
Supporter
I'm conflicted!

My adoptive parents were Scots - Border Reiver heritage in fact - but I'm a proud son of Lakeland who enjoys the water of life but abhors the idea of turning a sheep inside out & eating it. As for bagpipes... well I do have a bow ;)
 


Finch

Member
Being scottish its pretty much demanded of me that I drink whisky.
well..... sort of.
I'll let you into a secret ... when a scot reaches majority, he must choose something to define his scottishness. There are quite few options available ...... rabidly following rangers or celtic, buckfast, deep fried mars bars, whisky, impenetrable accent even other scots struggle with, claiming tennants export is drinkable (this is the scottish equivelent of making people eat sheeps eyeballs), chips with every meal and finally chronic heart disease.
And not a single mention of a kilt.

Is there any mention in Rule 307 about wearing a kilt to a comp? Assuming it's not a camouflage kilt...
 


Timid Toad

Moderator
Staff member
Supporter
Fonz Awardee
Ironman
Yup, frequently seen at scottish comps: kilts, Irn Bru and midges...so many midges
 


Finch

Member
Yup, frequently seen at scottish comps: kilts, Irn Bru and midges...so many midges
Outside Scotland Irn Bru is banned as it's considered to be performance enhancing.

This is blatantly untrue, Irn Bru is the nectar of the gods and it should be mandatory for every person to drink at least 1 litre per day...
 


Rabid Hamster

Well-known member
Ironman
Irn bru to a scot is like spinach to Popeye thus the performance enhancing issues ...

... and i’d like to raise at this point the sheer incompatibility of wearing a kilt (in the correct manner re underwear) in a midgie heavy area.
 


Finch

Member
I am quite (un)lucky in that I am at the other end of the country. Spent three days in Perth this week and although cold I really enjoyed it. Same again next week.

Not good for me right now, have a comp on 03 Nov and need all the practice I can get - two Wednesdays out is not good. :(
 


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